This Thanksgiving Won't Be The Same, So Start A New Tradition

The shut down has given us the opportunity to rejigger all our routine behaviors. Like why do we wear pants with a waistband? Joggers rule…. Since the super stressful travel to a massively awkward family gorgefest won’t be happening, I’m proposing a different gratitude tradition. This tradition is also kinda hard but good for us and our families. Hang in here as I explain:

COVID has driven anxiety rates from 1/10 to 4/10 adults

We are all freaked out about COVID 19 and it’s mortality rate. Our freak out highlights the anxiety surrounding death and dying. You hear the numbers everyday and feel powerless, unprepared and down right terrified. In terms of sympathetic responses flight, fight or freeze as a collective population we are stuck in freeze. STAY IN YOUR HOUSE, KEEP YOUR MASK ON!

We can bring ourselves out of freeze with actions addressing death and dying. I know it’s not something you are not psyched to do but, doing this stuff now will help with current anxiety, be a gift to your loved ones /heirs and set the stage for a good death.

Action reduces anxiety

Think of it as a pandemic exercise: you’ve already gone through all the photo’s, Marie Kondoed the heck out of your closet, and you’re not cooking the huge thanksgiving so……in a show of gratitude prepare your shiat for something that happens to everyone. Create a THANKSGIVING FILE, you can update it yearly. Your file could contain the following

Data and documents

  • Password list

  • Draft a where to find document - identifying things your heirs might need after your death, keys, ss card, cash

List of Contacts and where they can be reached

  • Anyone named in your will

  • Close friends

  • Business Associates

  • Religious and Social organizations

  • Beneficiaries

  • Your Attorney

  • Your Executor/Trustee

List of Your Assets and Liabilities

  • Real Estate/Mortgage

  • Saving Accounts/Plans

  • Investment Accounts

  • Life Insurance

  • Online Accounts

  • Retirement Benefits

  • Outstanding Loans

  • Credit Cards

  • Social Media Accounts

Documents for End of Life Planning

  • POLST Physician/Medical Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment

DNR,DNI,DNH,

  • Durable power of attorney for finances

  • Domestic Partnership Agreement

  • Living Trust

  • Last Will and Testament

  • Healthcare Power of Attorney/Healthcare Proxy/Durable Medical Power of Attorney

  • Living Will

  • Organ or Tissue donor designation


Make Funeral Arrangements

  • Message from you letter, video

  • Service

  • Buried, Cremated or Recompose

  • Headstone or marker

  • Obituary

  • Memorials

  • Legacy project

    Thanksgiving file the gift that keeps on giving

    My friend shared last night her Mom, who is struggling in advanced Alzheimer’s, is being a real doodoohead and won’t sign documents, much less admit her disease. If, we take care of this stuff each Thanksgiving, our loved ones can keep the bickering to important stuff; like who gets the white meat.

    I can help you with these documents or refer you to professionals.

Tiffany McDermott